The $ex is great, but…
Is there such a thing as being great in bed, but awful at everything else in life? In a way, yes. There are many people who excel at being fabulous lovers, while the rest of their lives — and those who they are in bed with — fall apart.
Let’s discover the zodiac signs that are good in bed and rule between the sheets but fail epically at everything else they touch, according to astrology.
1. LEO (July 23 – August 22)
Oh, Leo. I wouldn’t say that you suck at everything but sex, but if you are one of those Leos that just happens to be royalty when it comes to orgasm-giving, you might also be the equivalent of a homeless bum when it comes to taking care of the mundane things of life. Your typical Leo is a great, big show off and that can be a very positive thing; in fact, the Leo lover knows how good they are in bed and will tell you about it before the dirty deed gets done.
You’ll buy the goods and you’ll have no regrets… until you start a relationship with one of these magnificent masters. Let’s just put it this way: after the sex is over, don’t count on a conversation. “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is cute until it’s time to actually do more than just have sex.
Read: 6 Brutal Truths About Loving A Leo, As Written By One
2. ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
If you bed an Aries, prepare for a memorable night in the sack. These folks are adamant about two things: Being the best you’ll ever have in bed, and being the best you’ll ever had in bed. It’s that simple; they WANT to be the one you’ll never forget, and chances are you’ll never forget them. However, your memory may drift off of their sexual prowessand into thoughts of how they didn’t show up for the second date, or how they totally disagreed with everything you’ve ever believed in and made it known to you in indisputable ways.
Remember: Aries is always right, so after they’ve reduced you to an orgasming pile of satisfied tremors, be prepared to hear the story of their lives, how great they are, and how no matter what you’ve learned in this life, their experience is far greater. So great is their experience that you may want to flee in terror… unless of course, you want to stick around for the $ex, which you may very well want to do.
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries, As Written By One
3. GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
Many people born under the sign of Gemini are into pleasing others. And this manifests best in the bedroom, where the typical Gemini wants you to know that they care for your pleasure. This may be very alluring at first, until your Gemini lover decides they want to fix you and make you a better person than you already are, even when you didn’t think you were broken.
Geminis do not know that they are obnoxious; they honestly think they are being helpful, and the part of what makes them one of the zodiac signs that are good in bed and so bad at life is that everything they do is part of their effort to save you from yourself. Afterglow with a Gemini sex partner can go from sexy time to lecture time, with you as the subject that needs help.
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Gemini, As Written By One
4. SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
As slick and savvy as the Scorpio lover can be, you may want to take into consideration that no matter how good the sex is, your pleasure isn’t the goal. They are quite motivated in the sexual arena, and in pleasing themselves, they can be very good at pleasing you too — but your pleasure is, as always, secondary. They don’t care if you approve of them because they have enough self-esteem for the two of you. This kind of arrogance can make them seem even more attractive, which is a tell tale sign that in the long run, you really don’t matter.
For the fool who falls in love with the one who gives them the best orgasm, watch out for the Scorpio, who will definitely give you a run for your money, while crushing your dreams. And speaking of running, they’ll make your head spin as they run out the door.