It may be about $ex, money, or even something worse, you can’t put off telling your partner about it. You can’t keep them in the dark about something they must know. However, most people don’t know how to break a bad news. They start with an awkward note and it might end it a blowup or something, if not handled properly.
So, it is important you learn to handle yourself with poise before you start your conversation to keep it smooth and frictionless.
1. Timing is EVERYTHING – You can’t talk to them when they have just returned from their hectic night shift or when they need more rest. Talk when both are focused. Babysitting, being alone at home or when focusing on each other are the perfect pieces of time you must share those things.
2. Keep your own mood good –You will send mixed signals to your partner if you are angry, distracted or too much scared to tell the news. Couch the news in love and emotions but don’t distort the news. Keep it clear!
3. Keep an eye on your body language – 93% of your communication emanates from your body language. Even before you start talking, your partner is able to pick up something about the news from your body language. So it is important to keep your facial expressions, hand movements, posture etc. in a good position.
4. Be honest – How would you feel if your spouse kept hidden from you some important piece of news? Betrayed, obviously! In the same way, your partner also needs to know important things. You need to be honestly telling them the news, without twisting or distorting it in any way.
5. Stay in the NOW! – It means to express your feelings to the person the way you are feeling now, not based on how you felt in the past or how you think you will feel in the future. Also, keep the conversation based on a recent topic. Try not to bring back an event forgotten years ago.
6. Practice makes you perfect – Speak out loud in front of the mirror or rehearse in the car on the way to work. Don’t just think or mumble it. Speak to yourself clear. The more audible you are to yourself, the more desensitized you feel when you actually deliver the message. Practice might save you from bursting into tears midway.
7. Tell your partner everything –Even if it involves discussing few festering things about the past, you need to be able to handle delicate messages without messing them up thereby ending them in big blowups. With time, you need to learn the skill of delivering the bad news or discussing hurtful things. Then you’ll be able to find the right time and space to discuss sensitive things.
8. Find a time to talk – “It’s really important that we talk about this matter. Can we talk now? Or, when is the god time we should sit down and talk about it?” Find a time you both agree is perfect if you are finding it difficult to talk otherwise.