Most of us have been on dates but we feel very awkward because we just don’t know what to say in the matters relating to dates. Women worry sometimes they just don’t have the right word or keep thinking how it would come out etc.
Regardless of who you love, you won’t get there without a few misfires.
- Have you been in one of those typical scenarios a relationship faces?
- Food comes but not prepared the way you wanted it.
- He’s a great guy but a bad kisser
- Money stuff – who pays, for what!
- Issues around $ex and intimacy
- Telling him you have mastectomy before getting intimate
- Embarrassed by the way he is dressed up
Mindfulness is what you can give yourself at the present moment. It is the art of accepting the present without judging it. It is fundamental to your emotional and physical wellbeing, especially when it relates to others. More life-changing benefits are better regulation of your emotions, greater self-compassion, and developing self-reflection, which enables you to be more in touch with yourself.
Can a good date be salvaged?
There was Sheri, who was savvy and competent but struggled herself out of her 12-year-old abusive relationship. She met another guy. Their first two dates had been wonderful. On the third date, at her home, the guy suddenly kissed her. She was taken aback. She wanted things done slower. When the guy kissed her, it felt like the most vulnerable part of hers was aroused.
She didn’t know how to handle it. There were a few words of apologies and he left!
It would be better if she simply told him coolly how she wanted things. Telling your potential partner what you want isn’t creating a mess. It’s being a human simply.
Being too self-sufficient isn’t good as well. Exposing your vulnerability to him opens up the masculine side of his character to protect you and love you more. Being able to say what you want to, no matter how much you fumble, isn’t a fault of character or anything bad.
1. Stay present, focusing on what to say – practice mindfulness and meditation. Be aware of oxygen flowing through your brain to keep anxiety at bay.
2. Speak slowly and thoughtfully – if you freeze in the middle of the conversation or lost amidst the train of thoughts, speak slower.
3. Humor is a great connector – it’s okay to laugh at yourself.
4. Be kind yet firm – it’s a win-win situation to kindly yet firmly tell him your needs.
5. Don’t look for validation or approval – you got your own.
6. If you feel strongly about something, manage your emotions – acknowledge your discomfort but move forward with what you have to say.