In the oxytocin-induced phase of the relationship, it is easier to ignore the red flags of your relationship. His unusual, weird requests and behests may initially seem normal but once it feels awkward or crossing your territory of comfort too often, you need to take a few actions.
If your partner asks you to do any of the 7 things below, break up with him soon.
1. Change your looks – He can’t ask you for an elective surgery. Gynecologists state they have seen patients pressurized to go for anal bleaching or vaginal rejuvenation. These things need to be avoided, if for purely aesthetic reasons. Your loving partner won’t want to force you into changing yourself so completely.
2. Go beyond comfort level in bedroom – Being an adult, you know what you like and what you don’t. if you’re into anal and he’s a great fan too, go for it. But if he’s pulling your hair, and it is painful for you, resist it. Stop the torture! In a relationship, no one should gain out of other’s discomfort.
3. Cut off your family and friends – if he gets upset the last time you spent in planning for your sister’s wedding or stayed up late till night planning with a co-worker, he’s preparing you for a fall. The family is an important concept of everyone. Your love shouldn’t ask you to cut yourself off from them.
4. Give up all privacy – “Don’t think jealousy is cute!” If he’s sneaking in your bank account, hacked your email, or gotten physically abusive, then he’s trying to control you. This control may escalate too quickly.
5. “Just get over it!” – It may be getting teary eyed about a conversation with a co-worker or getting over a sexual assault in the past, it needs time to heal and a supporter who can comfort you in those times. If your partner expects you to snap out of those feelings on your own, that’s so disgusting of him.
6. Feel badly about yourself – In the end, your partner should uplift your sense of who you are. They should encourage your abilities. If you feel less confident about yourself, it’s a sign they didn’t try to bring out the best in you. Being a part of an abusive relationship can also trigger such reactions.
7. Break down your set boundaries – Say you feel deadly afraid of waters or height, still, he forces you to jump into the swimming pool with him or go for skydiving anyway. He doesn’t respect your boundaries that are firmly set for you. This is a form of coercion or manipulation.