Sometimes us guys have a hard time picking up on the fact that you’re flirting. Sure, we all know that business about you touching your hair when we’re talking, and you leaning forward and touching a chest (his or yours) when you giggle, but those “sure-fire signs” can be interpreted as wrestling with a bad hair day or a case of laughter-induced vertigo, respectively.
On the other hand, playing Britney ’07 while getting out of your car may be a touch overkill (as well as supremely embarrassing if he’s not down with your lady business). The best play is the middle ground. Here are nine low-risk ways to learn how to let a guy know you’re interested.
A hand to booty move is a little tacky; instead, go for an extra long hug, a kiss hello or goodbye, or an opportunity for a lap-sit. Breaking the force field is a great start and if you’ve rubbed your feet on some fuzzy carpet first and there’s a literal shock when you touch him, well, bully for you.
2. Buy him a drink.
Irrespective of what the last several decades have done in terms of earning parity and gender role flip-floppery, we always recall when a lady buys us a brewski.
3. Compliment his appearance.
If you can throw in a reasonable and flattering celebrity comparison, so much the better.
4. Groom him.
If his collar is askance or he has a mess of unintentional fly-aways or he’s rocking a frat tuck (a maneuver in which only the front of a man’s shirt is tucked in, oftentimes exposing an interesting belt buckle or emphasizing the crotch region) in a clearly no frat tuck milieu, hook him up. It’s not selfish to increase his $exy. This clearly juices up the physical contact and is a way to learn how to let a guy know you’re interested.
5. Establish an inside joke.
It doesn’t have to be a real inside joke; it can be flashing Blue Steel or some other Wes Anderson silliness. A little bit of us-against-them draws people closer (please do not use any of these tips for demagoguery).
6. Ask him about things in his wheelhouse.
Everyone feels good about slamming home answers in his areas of expertise; throwing in a bit of fawning over the depth and breadth of his knowledge is pretty slick, too (maybe even with a lean forward, hand-to-the-chest maneuver).
7. Take plenty of photographs featuring the both of you.
This may be your instinct. Go with it and post those photos where applicable. Have someone else hold the camera and do the hand-over-the-iPhone-close-together pic.
8. Try a little dancing.
Sure, grinding on the dance floor may not be your style, but you don’t have to dagger (vertical, public frottage) to trigger a “hey, this is sort of like sex” light bulb.
9. Talk closely and, possibly, privately.
A little bit of loud music is a good reason to sit very close and chat. Boisterous goings-on are a great excuse to take a step into an adjoining room… alone.
If all else fails (you’re probably dealing with a fellow who is obtuse, uninterested or both), ramp up the physical contact. Do not attempt to knot a cherry stem in your mouth. And only write an explicit note on a cocktail napkin if you’re prepared for his friends and the internet to see it.